Melarky

A couple years ago, Valentines Day, Mark decided for my gift he would fill my night stand drawer full of chocolate. This was a perfect gift for me, it combined my love of chocolates and gluttony. All day Mark tried to get a second alone to make the switch from socks and underwear to chocolate. This proved hard because I wouldn’t leave him alone. It was Valentines Day and I wanted to spend every second with him (we were still kinda newlyweds). I remember he was trying to get me to go to the store. I couldn’t understand why he didn’t want to come, why he didn’t want to spend time with me. I remember at one point during the day, in his attempts to get “rid of me” I cried. The day was okay, definitely not what I expected. That night I got into my drawer for something and there were the chocolates. I was so surprised and happy, I said, “This is the best Valentines ever! No wait. It’s not, today was really crappy”. For weeks I ate the chocolates from my drawer and slowly they helped me forgive him for the kinda stinky first half of that Valentines Day.

Valentines Day is coming up (9 days to be exact). I enjoy Valentines Day. They’ve sure changed over the years especially with kids now, but my feelings have also changed towards the day (Marks thinking, “Awesome, I don’t have to get her anything”). When we were dating and even when we were first married I put too much emphasis into that one day. If Valentines wasn’t romantic, perfect, if he didn’t meet everyone of my expectations then I was disappointed. It didn’t matter that he did all those things 364 days out of the year, if he didn’t spoil me crazy with gifts, attention and romance on Valentines day he would be “in trouble”.

While out on a walk the other day I saw a trail of red rose pedals. They stopped in the middle of a bridge with a note that said open me. It looked sweet.

Over the years I realized that that one day, Valentines day, didn’t matter that much. I cared more about how he treated me the other 364 days. I’ve also learned, romance shouldn’t always be left up to him. I could plan a date and take him out. I could give him gifts, spoil him, show him that I love him. One time I surprised him with a sort of scavenger hunt where he had to find clues. The clues led him to me, sitting at Adam’s park with a pic nic dinner.

It’s fun coming up with special dates and activities that surprise him are specific to Marks likes, but reading someone else’s ideas doesn’t hurt especially if your adding a little romance into your marriage.

This site is great and they have many ideas for date night, romance, holidays and tons more! It’s really worth looking at for a minute.

I hope everyone has a great Valentines this year and remember to treat your husbands the way you want to be treated. Spoil them, surprise them, let them know you love them. And don’t be disappointed if Valentines doesn’t go quite how you expected. Communicate, be realistic, and maybe even take the lead this year.

P.S. to Marky. I didn’t say anywhere in there I wouldn’t accept a gift if you were thinking about giving one.